Success in any situation hinges on three things:

1. You believe your story

When you’re present, you demonstrate conviction and passion so that other people come to believe your story. Imagine for five minutes, you have to persuade the interviewer that you are the best person for the job, while being completely honest. All the while, the interviewer held a completely neutral expression.

Three independent pairs of judges watched videos of your interview, looking for presence, believability, and hireability. Sure enough, the interviewees who were rated more present were also rated more believable and more hireable.


2. You’re confident without being arrogant

Too high energy and being aggressive, and little too pushy, seems defensive; actually, having all the right answers is a turn off.

Being open to feedback is key. The more you shut down other people and their perspectives, the less appealing you become. That’s because it can seem like you’re trying to cover up a sense of uncertainty.
“A truly confident person does not require arrogance, which is nothing more than a smoke screen for insecurity,” “A confident person can be present to others, hear their perspectives, and integrate those views in ways that create value for everyone.”


3. Your verbal and non-verbal communication is in sync

When we are being inauthentic—or when we our intentionally trying to deceive someone, our verbal and non-verbal communication is incongruent. Because you are constantly trying to adjust what you are saying and doing to create the impression you think others want to see.
On the other hand, when we are in the present, our verbal and non-verbal behavior matches. People aren’t distracted trying to figure out why something feels “off”, and their more likely to put their trust in you.

Ultimately, if you are confident in yourself, other people are more likely to be confident in you, too. It doesn’t necessarily mean you will get the job, but you will walk away knowing you did the best you could—and the right opportunity is out there for you!